life – Prosperity

Tuesday, December 3, 2024

Jump off line: A few things in no particular order

I woke up thinking I wasn’t doing enough, not making progress fast enough, not healing soon enough and then I saw a snail in the garden with its shell on.

Jacob, my paddle board instructor points out the Hawaiian Green sea turtles in the water, on the beach. He tells me they like to ride the current. I ask him how can I paddle faster. He tells me I don’t need to.

In the morning I sit with my blue majik spirulina bowl in what has become a daily routine of jogging, meditating, doing nothing by the beach. I google the benefits of spirulina, it feels good in my body. I marvel at my bodies ability to tell what feels good versus great. It’s starting to speak to me. My doctor said that when I first came to him 4 months back I was disconnected. Presumably from my body.

A guy at the beach says aloha to me, I assume he is talking on his headphones and ignore him. He says, “I have been coming to this beach since I was 2. Here in Hawaii when somebody gives you aloha, you give some aloha back. Else the locals will stop talking to you.” I apologize. We start talking. For 3 hours. He tells me about the history of the island, the many people who came to conquer it. He is very knowledgeable. He is a surf instructor. I get to know that he has coached world champions. We talk about what it takes to get good. He tells me about the Makai, the ocean. How you have to know it’s every turn, its currents, its subtleties. It’s a dance.. and she throws them off every now and then.. but it’s all fun. I tell him about my desire to learn surfing. My plan to create an ecosystem. I marvel at his intellect.

Later in the afternoon, I take an hour to learn how to breathe right. I play around with various angles of my neck and spine, see what feels right.

Valeria was cleaning my room and took 5 mins to properly line the trash bin. She says she’s a perfectionist, that she does things with love.

I feel awe for the Hawaiian spirit. I am drawn to this land like a bee to its hive.

Sunday, December 1, 2024

I put on my sneakers for the first time in this trip thinking I am finally ready for a little morning jog. I jogged slowly down the bike lane flanked by lush greenery unique to Hawaii and the many wandering iridescent roosters. I hit shuffle on my Lotus Love Spotify playlist and the song ‘Morning Sun’ comes on. I am reminded of the yoga instructor who introduced me to this song whose directions to child pose towards the right to the sun and the left to the moon and then the center to the stellar spellbound me. I let it play and then played ‘The Cyberpunk Runner’ to increase my tempo. I tried it for a few minutes and felt distracted. Mood noted. I switch back to playing Morning Sun on loop for the remainder of the job. It must have been a couple of miles till I got to the Sunrise Shack. I got my almond coconut bullet coffee and Açaí bowl topped with vegan protein. I went down the nearby beach, took off my sneakers and sat in silence. The sand was cold, the morning sun had not hit it yet. I finished my coffee and bowl while I started to take note of the thoughts pouring out.. in the form of a memo(!). It was my immediate plan of action. Finally some clarity. I shared it with family and realized that I was finally feeling confident enough in myself to do so. I was anxious about their response. I stood up and stretched, massaged and gently touched my body to listen to it, the only way I know to love myself. I remembered to stand at ease like Jill taught me yesterday. It felt counterintuitive. Jill said it’s because it’s my blind spot. I stood still with my feet looking far out at the glistening ocean, sinking deeper and deeper into the sand with each incoming wave. I saw a medium sized black crab and was reminded of their adaptability and ability to self protect at will with their shell. I wanted to take more pictures but my phone battery died. After a while I felt ready to walk back. My feet were sandy, so I walked on the trail barefoot for a bit till it dried out. The tiny pebbles and twigs felt like natural foot acupuncture. I felt thirsty and was surprised to immediately turn a corner to find drinking water fountain. I didn’t know how far my hike back to the lodge was and walked slowly past joggers, dog walkers, moms feeding their kids breakfast as they made castles in the sand. I let my mind wander. I walked behind a family for a while. The dad was holding a baby who did not break eye contact with me for a while. I started to play funny faces with her like my mother did with me till she got bored of me or I of her. I got to the lodge and started thinking of what I wanted to do next and scratched my left little toe along a rock. I was reminded to be mindful of my body and not careless with it. I ran into Bernie and he asked me how my morning was. It was perfect. I was perfect this morning.